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From your 'Honest Toddler'
Posted 9:45 AM on Thu-14-Jun-2012
I just found this on a blog - hilarious stuff!

"I’m Sorry"
June 6, 2012

Look mom. I can tell from the way you haven’t looked me in the eye since fetching me from my crib well before dawn that you’re upset about last night. Waking up every 45 minutes to 1.5 hours isn’t easy for me either.In my defense, my blanket really did keep coming off, I was thirsty, and…I can’t remember the other reasons, but I’m sure they were equally valid.There was at least one nightmare. I was in a strange house. I knew it wasn’t ours because the dishes were washed and your hair wasn’t everywhere.I do want to thank you for bringing back the 3AM milk that you worked so hard to get me off of. It was delicious and instrumental in helping me wake up soaked in urine at around 4. Can’t wait to have it again forever.

You seem tired and short tempered this morning which is why I felt more comfortable writing this than having a face-to-face. Can I get you anything? A cup of coffee? While you’re up please bring me a sippy cup of juice and some unbroken crackers. Oh that’s right. We don’t have crackers… I recall you saying that around 1:15. That’s OK. Why keep the house stocked with my favorite foods? I’m sure we have two kinds of wine though. But that’s fine.

Anyway I wanted to thank you for changing my pajamas and throwing that towel down on my pee pee sheets. I noticed you didn’t open your eyes once (weird). It’s also OK that you didn’t actually change my sheets. I find the faint smell of ammonia comforting. Love means doing things halfway.I mean, I know another mother or a grandma might have removed the soiled sheets and replaced them with freshly laundered ones but you just do you.

There is something I did want to discuss now that I have your attention. It’s none of my business what goes on between you and father after I go to bed but if you could just throw on a robe before coming into my room, that’d be awesome. I think you should definitely rock what you’ve got but angry nude lumbering zombie isn’t your best look. I want to be honest.

This seems like as good a time as any to bring up the possibility of reintroducing cosleeping. I can’t promise I won’t judo kick you to the face like I used to but at least one of us will get a good night’s sleep and isn’t that what matters?

Anyway. I hope this note brings you some comfort. You really do look awful. Maybe you’d feel better if you made us some breakfast?

love and hugs,
your Honest Toddler
Posted by Gillymama

Comments (18)

    Please note Internet Explorer does not work when commenting in our blogs.
emmalee - 7:57 PM on Sun-1-Jul-2012  
hahaha priceless and too true
Pommiegotlost - 1:04 PM on Thu-28-Jun-2012  
This is too funny, and totally could be from my toddler!
CamosMum - 4:46 PM on Mon-18-Jun-2012  
Ohhh tears of laugher, only a Mum can understand the humour of this thanks for the laugh!
SarahK - 4:16 PM on Sat-16-Jun-2012  
lol! its the same here Gill. My kids used to cry over broken crackers and bikkies! and they never fell for 'oh cool you have two now" trick :P
Gillymama - 12:11 AM on Fri-15-Jun-2012  
actually what made me giggle is the 'unbroken crackers' why oh why, do kids NOT like the broken crackers? I've had kids in tears over broken bikkies... devastated even, trying to stick them back together. They are all broken in my house due to the fact the biscut tin gets dropped at least once a day while they bring it to me to open! ( broken pantry door)
Gillymama - 12:08 AM on Fri-15-Jun-2012  
2 kinds of wine and no crackers... is that not normal? ;-)
MumBum - 10:39 PM on Thu-14-Jun-2012  
OMG.... I just read some of the comments... geez too funny, oh and I just re-read it and laughed... this time by myself coz the kids are aslepp!lol

And what's wrong with having two kinds of wine in the house?lol
SarahK - 9:31 PM on Thu-14-Jun-2012  
omg those comments just make this blog even funnier!! Wow some people just don't get it! bahahahahahaha!!!
Gillymama - 9:12 PM on Thu-14-Jun-2012  
isnt it funny - if you want more of a laugh, go read the comments about the woman who thought an actual toddler wrote this and the mother should be ashamed... and it not fit to be a Mom.. gah!
SarahK - 9:07 PM on Thu-14-Jun-2012  
bahahahaha!! hilarious!!!!
Gillymama - 5:13 PM on Thu-14-Jun-2012  
MumBum - I was alone... laughing my socks off...
raglanmum - 3:04 PM on Thu-14-Jun-2012  
Brilliant.... and oh so true!
MumBum - 2:44 PM on Thu-14-Jun-2012  
That is awesome!!! LOVE it!!! I just about wet myself I laughed so hard and MY toddler was looking at me like I'd lost my mind until he decided to laugh
Gillymama - 12:58 PM on Thu-14-Jun-2012  
Thanks Julie... I did the triple returns but it didnt work for me.
JulieKidspot - 11:25 AM on Thu-14-Jun-2012  
Sorted the formatting for you Gill :)
thecoffeelady - 11:00 AM on Thu-14-Jun-2012  
I've got one about little babies sleeping - I must search it out and pop it on for you to read.
Gillymama - 10:38 AM on Thu-14-Jun-2012  
I did laugh out loud a few times!
I tried about 3 times to format it into paragraphs but no luck, so hope you could read it ok.
thecoffeelady - 10:36 AM on Thu-14-Jun-2012  
Haaahaaaaaaa, isn't that so funny!

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