Since we are within coo-ee of our EDD and our baby could come anytime, I have been frantically preparing myself for motherhood.

Then last night, out of curiosity as we were lying in bed rubbing our bump while he's still a bump, I asked Shayne about his previous "baby experience" 

I was shocked to find out he has never had anything to do with other peoples babies. FYI when I say never, I mean never. Sure, he's held a newborn briefly, and played with the toddlers of our friends, but he's never changed a nappy, bathed, bottle fed or burped, never swaddled or rocked a baby to sleep. To me, coming from a large extended family thats unheard of, but he has zero baby miles on the clock and it was a shock to me. I started to feel him out to find out what he knew. It came to approximately nothing!

I said (somewhat crossly because I think he should have told me this earlier)

 "So basically you'll read the instruction manual for your DeWalt mitre saw, but you haven't once glanced at the baby book which I have left on the bedside table which essentially, is a baby manual and is supposed to give you some idea of what to expect or at least things to be aware of?"

"No honey"-sheepishly said.

"Do you have any idea of what you're about to go through when this baby arrives?"

"Not really. I figure I'll wing it and if all else fails, I'll ask mum."

"Shayne, your mum isn't going to be here at 1am, 3am and 5 am. You do realize that he's possibly going to wake up every few hours and need feeding, maybe changing, burping, and soothing? And we'll just get back to sleep and he'll wake up again?"

"They wake up every couple of hours?" Wide eyes, shock at the thought of losing his precious sleep.

"Did you hear anything the midwife said at our antenatal class?" An unpleasant trill creeping into my voice.

"Yes darling."

"What?"

"That I should be supportive."

"Is that it? How about that newborns wake up often. They also poo and cry and need cleaning and attention. And just out of curiosity-do you have any idea about how the stages are labour are expected to go? Do you have a plan for what you're going to do when it starts?" I was warming to my subject by now.

"I thought you'd wake me up and tell me what to do-you're good at that."

I threw a pillow at him.

"What about nappies? Can you change a nappy?"

"Um, yeah, probably."

"Probably?"

"Well I won't know until I've done one."

Deep breath. Don't throttle him. Don't burst into tears. Stay calm. You can DO this.....

"So you're telling me, you're going to attempt to build a totally unique house but WITHOUT plans, without site preparation, or any type of insurance?"

(I often find it helpful to put things into a builders perspective as it helps him to get my drift easier-one has to work with what one has after all.)

"Well, when you put it like that, you might have a point......"

"Pass me that book then please? I have some reading to do."

I can't help but wonder what he'd be like if I hadn't found out how little he knows and he'd just been thrown in cold turkey to my labour and the first weeks of parenthood.

Too late to change my mind now though! 13 days and counting.....Lets hope Shaynes a fast reader or the baby comes late....hes got a lot to learn in a very short time!

"