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is it time yet?
Posted 10:50 PM on Thu-21-Jun-2012

I was seven years old and mum told me my dad was going to come over and take me out for the day on Saturday. It didn't happen very often (once to that date in the 2 1/2 years since they separated). On Saturday I got up very early, dressed carefully in my favourite ensemble, made breakfast and then parked myself out at the gate to wait. Apparently it was all of 6:30, mum warned me I'd be waiting for a long time.

At 8ish I came in to use the loo and took a cushion out to wait. Mum warned me that he wasn't supposed to arrive for another hour or so but I was determined.

At 10 I came back to get a book to read while I was waiting. Then another. By lunch time I was on to my third. Mum brought me a sandwich, I can still remember eating it and to this day I can't stand cheese and relish.

Well you can imagine how it progressed. There were some more toilet stops, another book, lots of 'what time is it?' and 'when will he be here?'.

Late in the afternoon, perhaps 4ish, I could hear mum yelling on the phone and after it went quiet she came out to tell me he couldn't make it after all. I refused to come back inside and sat there at the gate until it got dark and mum carried me in.

Naturally I blamed her for his no-show. As the absent parent he was still firmly on his pedestal and it must have been her fault for yelling at him.

Moral? If you promise your kid something make sure you fulfil it. Or, if your child is idolising a deadbeat absentee, take heart they will grow out of it.

Posted by ekubo

Comments (6)

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sylvia - 2:08 PM on Mon-2-Jul-2012  
Kids shouldn't have to go through that!!! EVER...hence why I always make a point to DO as I SAY! and double check what I've said 'yes' to when it comes to my kids, because they'll
Pommiegotlost - 9:05 PM on Thu-28-Jun-2012  
this blog made me cry, there were a lot of broken promises in my childhood. I don't make any promises to my children now, just incase i'm unable to keep them. And i get so angry at my OH if he makes a promise and then forgets - you don't forget your kids, they're too important!
ekubo - 12:42 PM on Fri-22-Jun-2012  
I didn't even get the expensive gifts, now I really feel ripped off lol.

When I reached my teens he was effectively a stranger, I'd could probably count on my fingers the number of times I'd spent time with him. So when he waltzed back in when I was 18 and I got to know him as an adult I found I didn't really like him all that much.

He's seen his grandchildren a similar handful of times, despite driving within 5 mins of our house almost every week. They refer to him as the 'spare grandad', his loss I suppose.
LIVINGLIFE - 9:36 AM on Fri-22-Jun-2012  
You know what sadly there are many parents out there that dont put their children first and then try to buy their love etc and as well as being distressing for the child it is distressing for the loving parent that has to watch them go through it and also have feelings about the expensive gifts that are given from the other parent. All we can do is raise our children to the best of our ability and hope they grow up to be great parents themselves and put their children first.
SarahK - 7:43 AM on Fri-22-Jun-2012  
thanks for sharing that story ekubo!
My older children think the sun shines out their fathers you know where, because he trys to buy affection with expensive gifts. A horse each for example. (I kid you not, he actually got them a horse each, and he only sees them about 6 times a year, when he feels like it). So reading your story gives me hope that they will eventually figure out that just cos im the one that does all the disapline, that actually im not that bad ( i don't think).
And I fully agree about keeping promises to your children. My father made promises to me he didn't keep. Still annoys me now sometimes.
MumBum - 11:15 PM on Thu-21-Jun-2012  
Sad story and all too true... great moral too! And YAY!!! You wrote a blog!!!xxx

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