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 HELP ME!!! Son misbehaving at school!

01-08-2012,3:38 PM      
manddsteven
Join Date : May 2010
Location : Pukekohe
Posts : 26

Hi Guys,
I don't know what to do anymore.
My son is 6 1/2 and has been misbehaving in class.  The topic came up last term at parent teacher interviews however his behaviour is still not changing.
I have tried talking to him, the teacher has tried, we have tried together (husband and I) but I am just not sure what to do from here.
He is good at his spelling, writing, maths etc but the teacher has said he frowns at people, gets grumpy alot, kicks people under the table, distracts people etc.  I do have a vague memory that I was like that when I was little but I am pretty sure it wasn't all day everyday.
I hope someone out there has been in a similar situation and maybe able to help.
I am wondering if maybe he is just bored - I don't know!!
HELP!!!

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01-08-2012,8:38 PM » updated 01-08-2012, 8:42 PM      
ekubo
Join Date : Mar 2010
Location : Christchurch
Posts : 236

make an appointment to meet with the teacher and thrash it out. You might want to include the syndicate leader or someone from school management. Get them to have the RTLB (resource teacher learning and behaviou) observe or talk to him beforehand if at all possible and either join the meeting or send a brief written report. Also before the meeting talk to your son and see if you can get his take on the matter.Take him to the dr to get ears and eyes checked. Kids who aren't able to see or hear clearly can't participate in class properly and will often respond by misbehaving.
Boredom is always a possibility. It could be that he's working at too low a level or the teacher just doesn't offer interesting material. It could be that the work is too difficult and he's misbehaving rather than ask for help or admit he's not coping.
It could be social. Does he have friends? Are they kids who are positive or negative influences? Is he being bullied?
Have there been any changes at home? New sibling, deaths, separation, new partner, moving house etc? There are so many things that can upset kids and show up in behaviour. And it could be that the teacher is simply not a good manager who doesn't know how to get the kids to behave or get the best out of him. Be very careful before suggesting this one at your meeting tho.
Consider asking them to create an individual education plan for him. It will ensure that they focus for a time on his individual strengths, weaknesses, personality and preferred learning styles and environments. Don't expect a quick fix, these things usually take time to get to the bottom of. Approach the school/teacher as an equal partner who is equally invested in getting the best out of your son.

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02-08-2012,10:50 AM      
kymmage
Join Date : Jul 2011
Location : Hamilton
Posts : 202

you've already received some great advice.  Just wanted to add, you aren't alone.  Some of those behaviours will be normal for his age, but he could be bored and finding other ways to amuse himself/get attention. My girl is 5, and she took ages to settle into her current class.  they use time outs and that seems to have finally worked.  But it took a whole term.  Has anything changed in the classroom maybe?
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02-08-2012,1:20 PM      
manddsteven
Join Date : May 2010
Location : Pukekohe
Posts : 26

Thanks kymmage and ekubo for your replies and advise.  I have been talking to the teacher twice a week throughout this situation but am going to talk to her a bit further tomorrow.  There are two teachers that run the class and they seem to be really good teachers from what I can see.  There have been no changes at home and I have had his eyes and ears tested.  Every 6 months he needs to get the wax extracted from his ears however when I asked him if he can hear properly he said he can.
Hopefully I will be able to sort it out with the teacher.  It sounds a little mean but I was thinking of suggesting he be placed in another class or with the principle for a day to see if it makes him appreciate the teachers he has.
I don't want to make him sad but I don't want him to end up with no friends because people are scared of his grumpy face and because he distracts them :(
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28-08-2012,9:39 PM      
Robes
Join Date : Mar 2011
Location : Wellington
Posts : 3

Hi there, not sure how you are going with your son but just wanted to ask you if you had considered visiting a paediatrician. We found this to be very helpful for our son.
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29-08-2012,11:15 AM      
rachaelsfun
Join Date : Sep 2010
Location : tokoroa south waikato
Posts : 33

is there something at school that hes not telling you about (embaressed or fear)
Like Bullying .. or maybe he's falling behind or not understanding something schoolwork wise ...
sometimes kids (esp when they first start) dont always click on to routines or school work well
another thing to consider is maybe get his eyes checked
I know when i was that age (many years ago) I was put at a desk / table at the back of the class a lil far from the blackboard .. and I have had short sightedness since i was younger (and knew about it) but was hard to see what the teacher was writing
there is a lot of kids that might have eyesight probs thta you or he might not be aware of
and is a thing to potentially check out as well
or sometimes kids are Just shy and make it hard to make friends and do act out in self defence / as a sheild against that
maybe talk to his teacher too (and hopefully he has a good one as some are just shockers) and see if she noticed anything behaviour wise ..
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