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Bad mom goes back to work
Posted 3:16 AM on Fri-14-Sep-2012

babara neglect is many different forms, 1 being time while u are so concerned with having money and ur career ur bby loses that important time with u and instead spends it with a stranger every day. thats gonna be great for ur bbys development but allgood bby has heaps of material things to make up for all the time u spend at work


Stupid words said to me during an argument on Facebook, FACEBOOK by someone who I wouldn't be able to tell from a bar of soap. But still, these words have hung on my heart all week. What is it about them that stings so much? Why is it that friends and even family seemed to side with what she said? Is it that I am wrong to work? Am I a bad mother to desire to be back at work so quickly? To want some adult interaction? To have more money in my bank account than the meagre amount maternity leave pays out?


Maybe I am materialistic, and maybe I am being neglectful. Maybe I was never cut out to be this, THIS role as a mother, maybe I am suffering 'baby blues'. Or maybe I just enjoy the workforce, maybe I enjoy having disposable income, maybe I can balance work and motherhood and study. Maybe I'm not the one with the problem, maybe women should be more supportive of each other in their decisions no matter what they choose to do because it's THEIR decision. Maybe every single mother in the world has to feel their way and find the flow that suits them. Maybe we should keep our negative opinions to ourselves, because we always seem to forget how bad criticism of our parenting stung us at one point or another.


Maybe my daughter will resent me for going back to work, maybe she won't.
Parenting seems to be one big maybe? Maybe I won't go back to work, maybe I'll regret this decision,

maybe not.

Posted by rmns


Comments (8)

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Kimmyjade - 9:26 AM on Mon-24-Sep-2012  
I work part-time and I have the guilt of being a working mum with the guilt of not working full time as well as the guilt of sending my child to daycare. My house is never spotless as I spend my time at home with my youngest son and then when my two oldest come home I hang out with them. My point is no matter what you do people will judge you so the best thing to do is what makes you happy. Preschools are not bad places and kids have an awesome time there then when they get home they get to hang out with mum and go do fun things. Better to work and come home happy and ready to play then spend your days at home resenting the fact that you are!
GoMummyJo - 1:57 PM on Fri-14-Sep-2012  
It is what it is and your child won't know any different.

Happy Mum = Happy kids.
mumof6 - 1:29 PM on Fri-14-Sep-2012  
I agree with what has already been said. You decide what is best for you and your family, not someone you barely know on facebook. Take Care, you will make the right choice. x
thecoffeelady - 11:41 AM on Fri-14-Sep-2012  
Also meant to add, I think adult interaction is important, I got very down when my daughter was young and NEEDED time out, I still do otherwise I stop enjoying her. It is so important to look after yourself as well as your daughter - Hugs.
MumBum - 11:04 AM on Fri-14-Sep-2012  
Sweetie, even if this person was your own Mother its still not her place to make any of these decisions for you and your baby!
I returned to work when my second baby was 7 weeks old (full time) for the same reason, we couldn't survive on one income. I was lucky that my Mr MumBum is fabulous and he became SAHD and did everything for our boy... did I miss out? Yes in some ways I did, but what good would I have done in being at home with my kids and then not being able to make rent, pay for nappies, food and all those other things that are needed?
Whatever you do, you are always going to make sacrifices and there will always be someone who thinks you are making the wrong decision... but you know what? For everyone who says nasty words that judge and hurt you, be confident that there are Mums (like the ones you find on KS) who will support you and who WILL NOT judge you.
Ekubo is right, you will learn to become thick skinned with being a Mummy and you will find that the opinions of such people won't count for anything as long as you are doing the best you can in your situation for your baby and yourself... after all, it is you who has to live with whatever decision you make, so who is anyone else to make a judgement call?
Sarah is right too, LOVE you baby, just as the parents who do make the call to put their kids into care love their kids!
And lastly (what a novel), FB is too easy a forum for people to stick their oar in and start causing trouble... cast that person's nasty, insensitive and narrow minded views aside and do not let them cause you to doubt yourself. You love your girl, therefore you are a good Mother in my opinion.
thecoffeelady - 11:01 AM on Fri-14-Sep-2012  
It is entirely YOUR decision and as long as your daughter is in a safe and healthy environment that is the most important part.
ekubo - 10:47 AM on Fri-14-Sep-2012  
absolutely. You just cannot win.
Growing a thick hide is a mummy essential. This person isn't close to you, I doubt that their's is an opinion you'd seek so try to ignore it. Less time on facebook might be a good start lol. But seriously people say things there that they'd never say to your face. In person they'd think about the impact their words have on line they just let the inner ***** loose.
SarahK - 9:12 AM on Fri-14-Sep-2012  
if there is one thing i have discovered since becoming a mum, it is your dammed if you do and dammed if you don't.
If you stay at home with your children, your not contributing enough to the ecomony, and if you work your neglecting your kids. Even when i worked part time people felt the need to judge my decisions. so i no longer listen, and do what i feel is best for me and my family.
I work full time, 50 hours a week, and have 3 kids. they are all school aged now, but i have worked either full or part time the entire time i have been a parent.
I work in childcare, and have children in my care that attend nearly 50 hours. some of the parents probably don't need to work, but they LOVE their kids, and isn't that what matters most. The children get quality time with their parents. after all some times quality is more important than quantity anyway.
Maybe you will regret your decision to go to work, and maybe you will regret a decision to stay home too.
I say do what you feel is best. don't let others pressure you into feeling like a bad mother, just because some decisions you make for your family are not ones they would make for theirs.


   
 
 
 
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