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Created By: JulieKidspotter
Views: 959 views
Comments: 38
Topic : Dummy dilemma
JulieKidspotter - `10` `2012-06-12 13:19:58`  
Did your child use a dummy? Or suck their thumb?

Did you find it difficult to wean your child off it?

Pros and Cons of a dummy + Tips on giving it up
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Comments (38)
Mardi - 12:06 PM Fri-22-Jun-2012
Wow just reading some of comments here, enough to blow your mind..All 3 of my kids had Dummies,Oldest flicked hers when she was about 9 month's old & never looked back..Middle child had his till he was almost 3 years,at night only (for sleeping), we had a rough first week without it but now is all good,though a couple times he took his younger brothers one lol...Now we're just starting to wean the youngest off his (again sleeping only or when sick)I've brought a book called "Minky Mary the dummy fairy" so when's he ready we can get the bag ready to send them all away.The way I see it is,some kids need them & some don't,doesn't make anyone a bad parent.If we have any more I'd use one for them too,my grandson has one.
Guest Member - 8:48 PM Thu-21-Jun-2012
My babe was virtually born sucking his thumb. Originally I didn't want to use a dummy and probably wouldn't have but someone gave me one, and I figured that it was better than thumb sucking. After about a month I decided to try use it to soothe at night and to help extend the sleeping time between feeds at night with the theory that if he was truly hungry he would not go back to sleep. It worked a treat and the sleeps got longer and longer over night - eventually 11pm-6am at 6 weeks and 8pm-6am at 12 weeks. I have always only allowed the dummy in bed, and as soon as he could understand enough (about 7-8 months probably) he was asked to leave it in bed and took it out of his mouth by himself and dropped it into bed. There was never any fuss, he never wants it during the day, and he sleeps fantastically well every night. Now at 16 months I'm considering when is the right time get rid of it. I'm sure that if I tell him about it and he chooses to throw it away himself that it will go smoothly. Here's hoping!
emmalee - 11:53 AM Thu-21-Jun-2012
Wow hot topic! I gave my first two dummies what a relief it was not to use my nipple as a getting to sleep soothing device ... ouch! When we had had enough we called upon "the dummy fairy" to take them away , tied them to the tree outside and in the morning there was a present with a thank you note and fairy sprinkles all around. They were both totally amazed and very proud of themselves, and although there were a few tears we stayed stong and they were never needed again. Unfortunately my latest edition is not impressed with the whole idea of sucking and not getting milk so gags on it, darn it back to the boob we go. I say every baby and mother need different things at different times, just like with the bottle debate each to their own i say as long as they are loved we are all the best mums we can be :)
adelef - 9:01 AM Wed-20-Jun-2012

Some people act like giving babies a dummy is bad parenting or laziness but in my opinion if it is making my baby happy then I am doing a good thing. Some babies are very sucky or have reflux and it is really good for them also dummies have shown to reduce the risk of SIDS which is fantastic and you can throw away a dummy but not a thumb. I was against dummies before my boy was born just because I used to be a dental assistant and worried about his future teeth but have read that if you wean a baby off the dummy before they're 2 that it shouldn't affect the teeth, I sucked my thumb until I was about 10 and have perfectly straight teeth. I am so glad I changed my mind on dummies, my boy only wakes once in the night and goes to sleep well and I think this is with help from his dummy.

IceKiwi - 7:20 PM Mon-18-Jun-2012
My Mr 4 had to have a dummy it was even recommended to us by the hospital as he was born so prem that he didn't have the drop down reflex with his tongue to start making it that much harder for him to learn how to feed. The dummy was a life saver in this sense he learnt how his tongue was meant to be. The pro's- helped him learn how to feed right, helped him settle on his own at sleep time, when he was sick that helped him stay settled while I carried him and cuddled him, natural ones available that are round so recommended by orthodontists as better option. Sizes available for newborn, 3-6mths, 6-12mths, 12mths +, helped with teething as doubled as teething device, easier to wean off the dummy than thumb suckers (i had 3 of them). Con's-loosing it in the night in winter and trying to search without turning lights on, you do have to replace them if they wear or get a hole in them, some babies are too dependent on them.

I think if a dummy is used for the right reasons they can work perfectly, they have positives and negatives but that is like everything in life.
Do not feel that you can't use a dummy as people will judge you if it means your baby goes to sleep in their bed instead of being held the whole time and you are a calmer happier mummy for it I say go for it. If it means your baby learns to feed and drop their tongue down due to underdevelopment celebrate that it works. As a mum/dad I think we take too much on board of what others think instead of just going with our instincts and choosing to be happy with the choice we make. Yes people will always make comments but its up to us how we let that influence/affect us.

On the other side my other three 1 prem 1 early and 1 over baked all choose to suck their thumbs and right from the start. It was wonderful an instant self soother. My early bub had her hands bound as we had to have tubes down into her stomach as for some reason she stopped putting on weight from 3mths -8mths and instead lost weight but she worked those bandages and managed to always have a thumb poking out and in her mouth the nurses didn't know how she did it but it meant we had a happy baby who was able to self soothe.
Yes it means you don't have to get up in the night and they go back to sleep quickly it also helps with reflux babies as the sucking motion helps keeps food in their tummies and that goes for dummies as well. However for me the downside has been getting them to give up their thumbs yes they stopped day time sucking fast it took my Mr4 at that stage to break both his arms which meant he had no choice but to give up and after casts were removed he tried it and decided he no longer liked the taste of his thumbs but for my two girls it is a lot harder.

I've been told since that sucking thumbs and fingers or the need to have something in ones mouth can also relate to anxiety and children are instantly self soothed by the fingers/thumbs so maybe before jumping on your little one to give up see are they more of an anxious child and handle the weaning phase with care.
lottie - 2:38 PM Mon-18-Jun-2012
So true tammyd
tammyd - 10:47 AM Mon-18-Jun-2012
I would like to suggest to anyone who thinks that using a dummy is akin to laziness or bad parenting, that perhaps a better indication of our success and effectiveness as parents would be to model to our children how to state our opinion politely, speak with respect, accept differences with grace and in a non-judgemental manner, and stand for what we believe in without belittling others. By the time a child leaves primary school, no-one will know, much less care, whether they used a dummy as a baby or toddler, but these character traits (or lack of them) will be evident long into adulthood.
thecoffeelady - 9:03 PM Sun-17-Jun-2012
Ha ha - just had to laugh - "they don't need a dummy or they'd be born with one in their mouth..." Oh yep, I suppose they don't really need breastmilk (or bottle) or they'd have been born with a boob in their mouth ...... LOL really?
ekubo - 10:38 AM Sun-17-Jun-2012

lol my grandmother used to do just that. When her kids or grandkids were teething or even just fussy she'd rub their gums with whiskey. Apparently my mother went ballistic when she found out what gran had done.

 

And guest member, your post didn't so much tell us why you chose not to use a dummy but why everyone else who had chosen to do so was wrong, lazy and a poor parent.

 

You're certainly allowed your opinion but you'll get a much better response if you don't abuse and harangue those with different opinions.

MumBum - 10:28 PM Sat-16-Jun-2012
I always find it interesting how people don't actually join by creating a profile before they make such judgemental statements... it's easy to hide behind being a "guest member".lol

I agree with it being a choice and for the record it is not always the choice of the parent to NOT have a dummy. MY kids didn't have dummies because THEY didn't like them, that doesn't mean I didn't give it a go!

I'm not a lazy mother or a super mum, I'm a Mum who wanted a happy settled baby and wanted to be able to get a decent amount of sleep myself! If a dummy had worked to help settle my kids, I would've used one!

Every parent is different and every child is different, a dummy and the use of one or the decision to not use one isn't the be all and end all to a happy and settled baby, in some cases it obviously helps... it comes down to choice and I don't see the need to get all heated up over it or to stir everyone up by being all up in arms... geez, not like anyone was suggesting you give your baby a nip of sherry or port to settle them! Its only a dummy for goodness sake!!!
Guest Member - 6:24 PM Sat-16-Jun-2012
NIKKILANG. Im aloud to have my opinion. and yes I know at the end of the day it is the parents choice what they do. but i am against them all the same. and other people didn't just put yes or no if they used a dummy and sucked thmb, most people wrote why they used a dummy, so i wrote why i didn't.
NikkiLang - 4:07 PM Sat-16-Jun-2012
Hey guest member (fri at 8.41/42 on Friday 15th) I did not get my back up because you were able to raise you children without dummies. Good on you for that, it was because that you pretty much called all people that use them lazy. My husband and I tried everything!!!! read all the book asked people on chat rooms like this and still had no luck until we found the dummy. I am NOT a lazy mum and like most people out there we do not use the dummy to shut our child up. I also don't, and never will feel guilty about using them. But there are new mums or mums that may have PND that may read blogs like this and will feel bad about themselves for using the dummy. I really wish these blogs could stay positive and not go in a judgemental way. The question was “Did your child use a dummy? Or suck their thumb?” Not what do you think about them or other people that use them.
SarahK - 1:54 PM Sat-16-Jun-2012

Hey guest member (fri at 8.41/42 on Friday 15th). It is a choice whether or not to use the aid of a dummy or not. My children happily self settled early on, and I had absolutely no trouble getting dummies off them either.

I dont, and never will feel guilty about using them. Early on, some babies have such a strong urge to suck, that they want to do it consistantly. It soothes them. Also studies have also found that babies who suck dummies are at lower risk for cot death and are less likely to take up smoking as Adults.

They are also a really useful tool with premmie babies who need to learn to suck.

 

There will always be people that use dummies for, as you say, "a shut up device". Having worked with young children for 15 years, I seen some of these people myself. But the bulk of parents who do, use them responsibly. They are not lazy parents. Dummies are fine if used with babies and toddlers. They really only become a problem if used into later childhood, where speech problems can be come an issue.

ekubo - 1:40 PM Sat-16-Jun-2012

has the guest overstayed her welcome lol.

I'm wondering what a new baby sleeping through has to do with anyone's parenting skills anyway. I've got one that slept through from 6 weeks without a dummy, does that make me a supermum? I've got another who didn't sleep through until he was two, does that make me a muggins for not plugging one in?

As I said earlier I don't like dummies, I have a tiny sneaky grain of agreement with her sentiments, however rude and insensitive the mode of expression. These days I hear of a lot of mums planning whether or not they're going to use one, so it's more than need to or don't need to. It's become a conscious choice like the brand of nappies. People persevere and try out different brands, shapes and sizes to get baby to take one. And you do see kids getting the dummy popped in to shut them up. But then I'll give my kids a bf, or a drink, or offer them a toy to shut them up. I don't pretend to always go looking for the cause of every upset.

It's one of those things that are just not going to be of any interest to anyone a couple of years down the track so we might as well all keep our opinions to ourselves unless invited to do otherwise. Perhaps we could spend our time learning how to use capitals and discovering the difference between there and their instead.

Guest Member - 1:31 PM Sat-16-Jun-2012

for 2years the dummy was my life saver! then after she'd turned 2 i started to wean her down to just night time then a couple of months later to lose it all together, i'd given myself the target to hav her totally off it by the time she was 3, for which i did BUT OH MY, losing that dummy at night time was so upsettin!

it took me 2 weeks of cuddles and rockin with her makin a little mantra for herself 'no dodi now, big girl, no dodi now, big girl'

it was nearly heartbreakin for me, knowin all i had to do was give it back to her, HOWEVER i wouldn't hav done anythin differently as i no i needed that aid for her first 2 years and i believe every mother should do what she needs to get thru with her baby!

 

lottie - 1:10 PM Sat-16-Jun-2012
Wow just read the guest members comment, how judge mental! I think if a dummy works and makes for a more settled baby and mother then it is really up to the family. I have friends that use them and swear that a dummy settled the children and was a life saver. I will also point out I think these women to be excellent mothers with well looked after and much loved babies. It is not lazy to want to sooth your child if upset and crying especially when everything else doesn't seem to work. So maybe as mothers we all should support each other rather than look down our noses at women trying to do the best job they can. I know I put enough pressure on myself without strangers thinking they have a right to judge my parenting choices. And just for the record my son doesnt have a dummy.
Jackaroo - 12:41 PM Sat-16-Jun-2012
Personally I don't feel that the use of a dummy or not is any reflection on your parenting skills, I had twins as well as a 4 year old and quite frankly don't know what I would have done if they didn't like their dummy's! My eldest never took to the dummy and was a great sleeper, the twins love their dummies but were and still are at 18 months old terrible sleepers.
Guest Member - 12:01 PM Sat-16-Jun-2012
my kids slept through the night at 8 weeks, no dummy needed. just a good mother that knows how to take care of a baby. one even had colic. dummys are horrid things
Guest Member - 12:00 PM Sat-16-Jun-2012
people that get there back up when people say they raise there kids well and happy without the use of the dummy, feel guitly because they know they are taking the easy way out stuffing a dummy in there mouth to shut them up work out why they are crying. they dont need one or theyd be born with one in there mouth!
JulieKidspotter - 10:21 AM Sat-16-Jun-2012
Guest commented that "if they are given a dummy to settle, they never learn how to self settle" ... sorry, but that's just not the case. Both my kids had a dummy and both kids learnt how to self-settle and sleep through the night from very early on.
NikkiLang - 9:15 PM Fri-15-Jun-2012
For all those mums like me who just read the two guest comments posted below (at 8.41/42 on Friday 15th) and had an attached of the guilt’s and started questioning the use of the dummy with their babies or like me got their back up a bit at the comments. I am going to reiterate a comment I made below. Raising children is not a walk in the park! In the end whether you use the dummy or some other kind of toy or technique to sooth your child when they are crying, you do what you feel is right for you, your baby and your family. Who cares what other people think!!
Guest Member - 8:42 PM Fri-15-Jun-2012
if you give a dummy. then you have to take it away. babies look disgusting with a dummy dont be lazy, figure out why they are crying dont just shut them up
Guest Member - 8:41 PM Fri-15-Jun-2012

heres my comment, and the dummer users won't like it, but its my opinion .. i've never used and never will use a dummy. babys dont need them that is a cop out. its a shut up device far as i'm concerned. babies cry for a reason. and if they are given a dummy to settle. they never learn how to self settle. i always see people at supermarket or in town with kids that are crying etc and they chuck a dummy in there mouth. I have two kids 15 months apart and never once used one, they cried but I figured out why, and they are two most settled and well behaved girls to take out to town (most the time) lol. I hate the way they look with a dummy in their mouth. would much rather see there beautiful face

BubbeezMum - 10:44 PM Wed-13-Jun-2012
I was always anti dummies till I realised little miss needed it, she was a sucker. Am a ok with dummies now it got her through teething and was a big help for many other things. As she got older it was for bed time only and I wanted it gone by 2 years old. Which it was it didn't take long, first we took it away for daytime sleeps, then we took little miss to the teddy factory to make her own animal. Where we told her shes a big girl she was getting Elly because her nummies were going. She was happy all the way home.... I am a big girl ... We got home collected the dummies got her to say bye bye and throw them away, gave her Elly (the animal she made) and put her to bed. First she threw elly out but that night she cuddled him cried an went to sleep. Took her 3 nights to get used to it but she was fine. Would be happy to give a dummy again at least you can throw away a dummy. Not so eas y to throw a thumb away.
Rose3 - 5:57 PM Wed-13-Jun-2012
One was easy as he got mumps and could'nt suck it, the wee one threw hers to the baby birds we could here crying outside each morning :)
gonzze - 2:12 PM Wed-13-Jun-2012
We gave our son a dummy but it was hard to get him to give it up in the end there was a toy truck that he liked so i said to him if we put dummy in the rubbish bin as john is a big boy now i told him you can have the truck you like he was 3 years  he looked at me and said ok so we got the truck and he was happy to put the dummy in the rubbish I think if he had had this dummy all the time and not just in bed it would have been harder to have him give it up
TarrynK - 1:04 PM Wed-13-Jun-2012
We tried both girls on numerous brands but they just didnt want them. Dad and Mom were at their wits end with hectic colic for both girls. I have nothing against them.... just wished they had used them.
NikkiLang - 12:11 PM Wed-13-Jun-2012
We ended up giving our little lady a dummy for sleeping only at 2months after being at my wits end one night and putting my little finger in her mouth (clean of course) and she sucked away and went to sleep. We tried to take it away the other day (5 months) but could not cope with her screaming herself to sleep. Now I am thinking that like *Dibbles3 we will wait until she is a little older and we can make her understand she does not need it anymore. She can put it in herself now so does not often lose it or wake up cause she has lost it. In the end you do what you feel is right for you, your baby and your family. Who cares what other people think.
Guest Member - 12:02 PM Wed-13-Jun-2012

I was always anti dummies....until my first was about 2months and I was very overwhelmed with her needing suck all the time!!  So we tried a dummy and she took to it straight away.....she's now 2 and still uses it at night.  She's very attached to it, I do sometimes wonder when I will make her stop...but I'm in no rush now.  I've seen the problems of stopping thumb sucking so was very happy about letting her use the dummy instead and think it will be easier when the time is right. 

My 2nd baby had really bad reflux and the midwife suggested using a dummy.  It was fantastic!!

I was a thumb sucker and remember the comfort I got out of it....so I'm in no rush to stop my children using the dummy until they are old enough to understand and slowly wean it off them.

MumBum - 10:14 PM Tue-12-Jun-2012
None of my three had dummies, not because I was really against them, they just never liked them... I think that they're such piggies that they kind of felt ripped off to have something like a teat but with no reward for all the sucking!lol

We tried dummies with all of them and they just don't like them, none of them are thumb suckers either... so we've been lucky that we haven't had to wean them off anything except the breast... that's a whole other story, would've been easier to disarm Germany than to wean my first boy... sheesh!!!
Dibbles3 - 9:42 PM Tue-12-Jun-2012

I am not ashamed to admit all 3 of my children had dummies from a very young age.  They only had it for sleeping and for my eldest 2, I waited till they were old enough to understand that they didn't need it anymore (I think around 18 mths to 2 years from memory).  My daughter is 17 months and still uses hers at bedtime.  I am in no hurry to take it off her but will probably think about it over the next 6 months.

All of mine liked sucking and I really despise thumb sucking so I never hesitated to use a dummy. 

SarahK - 7:26 PM Tue-12-Jun-2012

Two of my three children had dummies. The other sucked her thumb. My thumb sucker has only stopped a few years ago, and she is 11! .

Having a dummy was a lifesaver with the other two. Both wanted to suck constantly when newborns, so the dummy satisfied that. I never had any trouble getting it off them either. Right from the beginning they only had them for sleep times. so this continued and once i felt they didn't need it anymore, i took it off them. I think i had one night of a few tears and that was it. I stood firm and decided once it was gone it was gone. My eldest was 18 months when she 'lost' hers and my youngest was about 8 months.

ekubo - 4:47 PM Tue-12-Jun-2012

I'll be upfront and admit I loathe dummies. Perhaps because I'm old enough to remember when it was highly unusual to see a child with one in NZ.  They might be a useful tool for some parents but I see them as a sort of cultural imperialism in action. So, not surprisingly, none of my kids had one. None of them sucked a thumb or fingers either, at least not beyond the early baby suck everything in sight stage.

They were all bf so perhaps got their need to suck fulfilled that way. I was a bottle fed baby and sucked my fingers for much longer than I like to admit to.

cherrytf - 4:21 PM Tue-12-Jun-2012
Both my kids sucked their thumbs, but only until they were about a year old. Didn't have to wean them off it. I did, however, have to wean them off breastfeeding soon after they each turned 2. Now that, was difficult, but necessary.
tammyd - 3:36 PM Tue-12-Jun-2012
My first sucked his thumb from 10 weeks old and I was so grateful for it! It helped him sleep through the night and calm him when he was upset. But now he's nearly 4 and still going (mostly only in bed, but sometimes I catch him sneakily sucking away) and we are having loads of trouble getting him to stop. My youngest uses a dummy, not for sleep times but only for during the day when he's upset or grizzly. I am confident that when hubby and I decide he's old enough, we'll simply take it away. Sure, we might have a few days of tears about it, but it'll be done and we will have control over it, unlike his thumb sucking brother!
thecoffeelady - 3:31 PM Tue-12-Jun-2012
I found my daughters dummy to be a lifesaver, she was a real sucky baby and constantly needed to be sucking something and once she took the dummy she settled so much quicker and it helped get her wind up. I haven't had to wean her off it yet as she isn't yet one but it's interesting to read the tips on how to do that - currently she only has it when she is going to sleep.
piglet - 1:26 PM Tue-12-Jun-2012
When I first got pregnant my husband & I made a pledge not to use a dummy with our new baby. I think it was day 3 that saw hubby down at the Baby Factory buying a dummy.� She wouldn't take it anyway but instead found her thumb...7 years later, she still does but only at night. I used to get lots of lectures from well meaning people about letting her suck her thumb but I ignored them all as that was how she settled herself and she was such a happy baby and good sleeper.� If I needed to pay for orthodontic treatment when she was older, then so be it. As it is, she did have a slight overbite but its getting better and the orthodontist is not at all worried so yay (I took her to get checked recently to placate mother in law).� My nana told me that out her five children, the only one who sucked his thumb had the straightest and best teeth of the lot!� My son would not take a dummy, he didn't suck his thumb and for the first three years, I got hardly any sleep!


   
 
 
 
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