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Created By: JulieKidspot
Views: 2249 views
Comments: 23
Topic : What is the best age gap between siblings?
JulieKidspot - `10` `2012-07-18 12:41:47`  
How many years/months are there between your children? Does the age gap work well for your family?

Mine are just over two years apart which works well for us. They were far enough apart that the oldest could do stuff for himself when the baby was born but they're close enough that they can share toys and they're interested in the same things. Of course, that also means they fight over the same things! So if you could choose, what age gap would you want to have between your kids?
Comments (23)
petitemumma - 2:24 PM Wed-25-Jul-2012
my kids have a 2year gap inbetween...ideally i think a 3year gap wld be perfect- would have made it alittle easier in the younger years
renosmum - 4:37 PM Mon-23-Jul-2012

There are 13 years difference between my daughter and son and although initially i had my reservations about how this would work out it has in fact worked out fantastically for everyone concerned.� I was able to focus all of my attention on my daughter for 12+ years which ensured we had a solid, fantastic relationship and when my son was born�I implemented strategies to ensure they bonded and now as�I type this message �my 18 yr old daughter is taking her 6 year old brother to karate.  Whilst there is no perfect age gap i know from watching friends and family with children with smaller age gaps struggle with green eyed monsters and financially that i truely am glad to have such a big gap however as the saying goes...each to their own :-)


My3BoysandMe - 9:17 PM Fri-20-Jul-2012
I agree with some of the other members that there is probably no perfect age gap, I think anything can work if you want it to. My 3 boys are 6, (really really almost) 4 and 6.5 months. They are brothers, friends, enemies and everything inbetween. And I'm sure no matter what the age gap that would have been the situation anyway
Mamabear - 8:16 PM Thu-19-Jul-2012
I have almost 4 years between my kids and it has worked perfectly for us right from day one. My son was old enough to understand things when my girl came along and there was no jealousy/ rivalry involved.They have had a wonderful relationship throughout - he takes care of her, she looks up to him, they play very well together, it's fantastic!
Midgetwoody - 7:10 PM Thu-19-Jul-2012
My little dudes are 11 months apart - bit of a shock but wouldnt change it for the world!
Very busy!!!!!!!! and lots of sleepless nights but the hardest thing is that our oldest has just started school - and when you bring up 2 kids like twins and seperate them when they havent been seperated before is hard going!
mumof6 - 9:28 AM Thu-19-Jul-2012

The gap between my first 2 is 3.9yrs then it's 2.10, 3.6, 23mths and 5.11yrs. I  would of loved them close together as my sister and I are 10mths apart and are now the closest of friends but it just didn't happen that way. My oldest is now almost 21 and my youngest just turned 3 so it means I have been changing nappies and breastfeeding for a very long time, but I loved it and wouldn't have it any other way. My oldest is also about to become a dad and that means there will be 3.4mths between his baby and Miss3 which will be nice :)

Guest Member - 9:51 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012

I have 4 years between my kids... its fantastic, I have had plenty of one on one time with each of them and they play really well together. They are all at diff stages and I have only had 1 in nappies at a time!

Guest Member - 6:48 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
Well I've just had a baby and hes 5months going on to 6months and already hes a hand full. I think the best age gap for another sibling would be at 3yrs to 5yrs apart rather than over 5yrs were its hard to relate. I find it much easier for people to have another sibling if there much closer but not too close were you just had a baby and thats alot of pressure as a parent and its much harder for those as a single parent so kudos those single parents who are doing it for there kids.
cherrytf - 6:34 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
My kids are 3 years apart and it's a good gap with no sibling rivalry and yet close enough for them to still enjoy playing with each other.  My brothers and I had a 4-year-gap in between int the three of us (not planned, mind you). It was all right, as well, but I found it difficult to relate with him when I was in uni and they were still in intermediate and high school.  So I'd personally say 3 years works best.
Guest Member - 4:18 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
4 kids, best gap as close to 3yrs as poss. Makes a HUGE difference compared to only a 2yr gap.
MumBum - 4:13 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
Our boys are ages: 7 years (8 in August), 2 years old (3 next May) and baby is going to be 1 in November.
As you can guess from the age gap between number 1 and 2, number two was a surprise and number 3 was kind of a surprise too... having two so close together is hard in some ways, like now with baby just starting to crawl and the toddler going through his naughty twos, but as they get older it will be easier I'm picking.
The age gap between our oldest and second son was hard on our biggest boy because he had to adjust to being a big brother, sharing Mum and Dad after basically being an only child for so long (though I do have step sons).
If I had known I was going to have more after the first one, I would've had a smaller gap like maybe three years.
thecoffeelady - 4:08 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
I only have one so far but unless we have a surprise pregnancy I'm planning a bigger gap. Before little miss one was born I wanted children close together but having her changed that, I found that newborn stage really tough and struggled with PND, I don't want to do that again with a little toddler to look after as well. I think 3-5 years gap will be what suits us, if it does happen sooner I'm sure I will cope.
emmalee - 3:59 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
My first two are 2 1/2 years apart which has its + and -'s. At the time #2 was born we had some unfortunate circumstances which made life a bit hard to deal with in the first months, and i really wished there was more of a gap. But now it works well having them similar ages with liking the same games, movies etc.. My third came 5 1/2 years later and i have to say i'm loving having the baby all to myself while the others are at school, there is heaps of time for each child and life is so much easier than i thought it would be (although i think alot of that is to do with experience as well as the age gap) I am really enjoying the early days this time round am so glad we changed our minds and added one more to the brood even if i did get the disconcerting "oohhh thats a big age gap" comments from people when i was expecting. At the time it made me feel like they were dissapproving but who cares works for us.
LesleyK - 3:00 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
My family 3 children 16.5 years between my eldest daughter (I did decide she was my only one ever, that went out the window)  and youngest daughter, (huge shock for me omg, and another 'what the!')  followed by just under 12 months between my youngest daughter and son, for 6 days they are the same age...... Due to my son making a 4 week early arrival, I have found that the age gab between oldest and her sister & brother is perfect being an only child right through till her mid teens she was very happy with the arrival of her siblings, she helped out and still had her own space, and own time with her own friends, she enjoys watching them reach the stages of baby to toddler and I found that she has a strong bond with them both. 
As for the younger two well the green eyed monster appeared when my son arrived, but as he has started crawling and playing with her she has settled but there are times when I think she wants him to walk so they can go adventure together.  I also found that sitting and up crawling happened a lot faster because he wanted to be like her.  I spend alot of time playing with the two younger ones being as close as they are and now nearly 1 and 2 years old we can all play the same games read the same book and play with the same toys together, I enjoy our time and sometimes big sister joins in.  My youngest daughter has learnt to share with her brother and they have a great time, she also likes to comfort him when he falls, hug him when he cries, help him when he needs it and generally looks out for him.  I find being as close as they are I think when it comes time for kindygarden, school and alike it will be easier for them to deal with changes that will happen, my daughter will lead the way with her brother not far behind. But I think perfect age gap depends on the family and their lifestyles.  My husband & I both work, but we have a good arrangement I look after my children during the week while he works and he does weekends, when I work so works for us, and my eldest helps out when she wants, I'd prefer her to be out spending time with friends and other interests. As for perfect age gap I'm very happy with what ages my kids are now 17 years, 22 months & 10 1/2 months.
Guest Member - 2:10 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
My boys are 22 months apart, that gap was perfect for us as now our boys are close enough in age that they can play together, but 3yo can also help 15 month old (he loves to help his brother). It was also good for me as i never had any issues with morning sickness or anything like that. Also i figure this way we get through the teenage years a bit quicker, rather than having one just come out as the next one starts.
Gillymama - 1:51 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
My daughter was 23 months when her brother was born - I thought 2 years apart was the 'done thing'... In my opinion, 2 years apart is too close and I wish someone had told me. I mean you are pregnant when your baby is 1... so for 9 months you are not at your best ( morning sickness, tiredness etc) and so your 1 yr old doesn't have ALL of you during that special time. You are also still dealing with a little toddler at 2 who needs so much from you, as soon as you have a baby in your arms there is no way you can give as much. My third child was born when my youngest was 3.5yrs, a much better age gap. I can't imagine how people cope with kids born 15mths -18 mths apart etc..eeeeek!!
ekubo - 1:22 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012

my kids are all 3yrs+ apart. Now 10, 7 and 4. It's been a very comfortable gap, good for the parents I think. I got plenty of time with each new arrival as the older ones were at school and/or kindy. I was able to enjoy each baby, and each was able to be the baby as long as he needed.

They all get on well together. Having a slightly larger gap seems to have minimised rivalry, the older ones are that much advanced on the younger that they're not competing to do the same things or for the same things (well not often). There's a certain overlap of interests, probably having all the same gender helps there. I think it's also helped them to develop greater empathy and consideration for the strengths and capabilities of others.

It has drawbacks too naturally, the sleepless nights and nappies took a very long time to get through. It's almost impossible to pick a movie that will interest all of them in the holidays. Finding activities that we can all do and enjoy is a bit harder but it can be done.

The age gap between me and my siblings ranges from 2 - 25 years and I don't think that the age differences has really had much impact on our feelings of closeness. Although I have greater shared history with the brother who's only 2 yrs younger I wouldn't say that we're better friends now because of it.

Guest Member - 1:08 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
I think that every age gap has positives and negatives. There's no such thing as a 'perfect' age gap. Even if there was it is pretty hard to plan it exactly because sometimes babies come along when they aren't expected and sometimes it takes much longer to get pregnant than you anticipate.

The thing is, it doesn't matter what the age gap is, you have to make it work. My two are 20 months apart and I love it. I didn't find it particularly hard with a young toddler and a newborn. If there had been jealousy I'm sure it would have been a lot trickier. My youngest is now 14 months and we are trying for a third. It will be full on, but for me having them close in age works.
emmam21 - 1:08 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
My children are 15 months apart, it was planned that way and I love it.  I too don't think there is such a thing as a 'perfect' gap - what's perfect for us definitely isn't what's perfect for my friends or anyone else for that matter.  A lot of people said/say to me that I am nuts for having quite a small gap but I don't know any different and for us it just works really well.  As with most things in parenting (and life in general) - each to their own!
Guest Member - 1:06 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
I am so glad you have brought this up, I have been thinking alot about this!My son is 20 months and my husband is desperate for us to start trying but I just feel that the second baby arriving when our son is 3 would be so much easier on me if I am successful is toilet training by then....
jopukeko - 12:49 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012
I don't think there is a best age gap. What works well at some stages doesn't work for others. My girls are 18 months apart. It wasn't planned that way but babies come when they are ready. I enjoy that most of the time they will be at similar stages, going to the same school and after school activities. I am actually dreading my eldest starting school next year as it will be an extra drop off and pick up. My girls are best friends and biggest foes too mainly because Miss 2 is trying to keep up with her sister. I have friends that have big gaps between their children and they have advantages and disadvantages to that. I think that people cope with what they have and as hard as you try you usually can't have what you plan for.
SarahK - 12:48 PM Wed-18-Jul-2012

There is 2.5 years between my first and second and 6.5 years between the second and third.

These gaps work for me. I personally don't feel there is the perfect gap. You just have to make it work for you with whatever you are given. I would have loved to have them all really close together, but it didn't work out that way.

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